Aunt refuses to homeschool nephew after discovering he struggles with school, despite being a homeschool teacher for her own kids, his dad calls her out

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 2, 2026 6:00 PM EST

When people want to describe something that's not extremely difficult, we usually compare it to rocket science. "It's not rocket science" can be said about someone's job, a minial task, or a college class.

What one can take from that sentence is that we view rocket science as one of the hardest things a person can learn or work in, right? Well, if you ask us, there is one profession that is even harder than rocket science, and truly deserves to be used in that sentence instead.

We are talking about being a homeschool teacher.

When you're a homeschool teacher, especially for your kids, your entire job is to educate kids in your own home, and that sounds absolutely terrifying. Surely every parent loves their kids and enjoys spending time with them, but having to enforce a school-like environment every single day, and essentially spending all day, every day with your children, sounds like the hardest job in the world.

However, there are plenty of parents out there who are willing to take on that challenge. They understand the importance of homeschooling and are more than ready to put in the work in order to provide their children with what they think is the best possible education.

That is probably what the mom in the story below is doing for her kids as she is homeschooling them full-time. However, just because she is homeschooling her own kids, doesn't mean she must take on that challenge and do it for other children as well, even for family like her own nephew. So when her brother-in-law reached out and asked if she could include his son in her homeschooling program, this mom decided to refuse. She didn't want her attention to be taken away from her own kids, and didn't think homeschooling her nephew would be a generally good idea. Her husband, luckily, is on the same page as her and backed her up when they gave their answer to the brother-in-law. 

If this mom is not comfortable acting as a teacher to her nephew, she shouldn't be forced to. However, the nephew's dad still believes that homeschooling is the only solution for his kid, and he doesn't want to actually pay for anyone else to take on that challenge.

Keep scrolling to read the full story.

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  • AITAH for refusing to ask my wife to homeschool my nephew?

    My nephew struggles in school academically and socially. His main issue is conflict with other students.
    via OldTax7171
  • Homeschooling mom with young boy
    via MilosStankovic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They antagonize him, and he overreacts. He feels like his teachers are all against him and then refuses to do the work that they assign.
    via OldTax7171
  • The few students he doesn't have conflict with encourage his misbehavior and egg him on when he fights with other kids.
    via OldTax7171
  • My kids are all homeschooled and test well above their grade level. My brother thinks that public school is the reason for his son's struggles and wants my wife to homeschool my nephew like she does our kids.
    via OldTax7171
  • I don't think this is a good idea, and neither does my wife. Our kids respect my wife and listen to her.
    via OldTax7171
  • My nephew isn't as disrespectful towards my wife as he is his teachers, but I think that's because she doesn't ask much of him as his aunt.
    via OldTax7171
  • If she was his teacher, that would change. There have been instances where she asks him to do something and his ignores her.
    via OldTax7171
  • I also don't think leaving public school will automatically make him more motivated. My wife has had a lot of time to adapt her teaching style to our children's learning style, but this isn't the case with my nephew.
    via OldTax7171
  • Since he is already behind, it would be a struggle for her to bring him up to speed.
    via OldTax7171
  • She told me she doesn't think she could be a good teacher to him without sacrificing time and attention our kids need.
    via OldTax7171
  • Since I don't want to throw her under the bus with my brother and I 100% agree with her, I told him I won't ask her to do it (technically true, I never asked her to do it, just mentioned his request) because I don't think it's a good idea.
    via OldTax7171
  • My brother thinks I am an asshole who doesn't value his own flesh and blood (his exact words) and I feel that is unfair.
    via OldTax7171
  • Young boy homeschooling
    via Anastasia Dobrusina

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I think homeschooling won't be the magic cure for his son's behavioral problems. I understand he can't afford private school (which I also think wouldn't be a magic cure) but there are other options like tutoring, mentor programs, therapy, etc...
    via OldTax7171
  • Am I being an asshole by refusing to help?
    via OldTax7171
  • Budget_Computer_427 So your brother, who throws fits when he doesn't get his way, has a kid who throws fits when he doesn't get his way? Shocking! NTA What your brother is looking for is not homeschooling, it's a governess.
    via Budget_Computer_427
  • OP OldTax7171 He is definitely a person who wants what he wants, and I fear that has been passed to my nephew.
    via OldTax7171
  • Some-Phone-7066 You are NTA; your brother is asking for an immense, unpaid sacrifice that would compromise your children's education and your wife's well-being. Homeschooling is not a "magic cure" for behavioral issues, and you are rightfully protecting your household from a situation that would likely end in academic failure and resentful family dynamics
    via Some-Phone-7066
  • OP OldTax7171 This is exactly how I feel. Thank you for the reassurance.
    via OldTax7171
  • Chilling_Storm Your brother wants his kid home schooled he needs to do it in HIS home. Sounds like he wants a free tutoring service.
    via Chilling_Storm
  • OP OldTax7171 He and his wife both work full- time, so that isn't an option. I agree with you though, that's the only way it would work.
    via OldTax7171
  • Think_Storm_8909 If your brother thinks public school is the issue of his son's academic struggles then he can enroll hus son in private school. And homeschooling doesn't mean his son will pass all subjects with flying colors. He needs proper academic help which is a big task, and your wife is not obligated to put it on her shoulders. Also he us rude to his teachers, he might start behaving rude to your wife too if she becomes his teacher. Tell your brother to get him a tutor and to get him to c
    via Think_Storm_8909 I
  • OP OldTax7171 I absolutely agree. He is convinced his son won't be rude to my wife, but there is no evidence this is the case and some evidence to the contrary.
    via OldTax7171
  • canarylungs NTA. I can see where your nephew gets his behavior from though. Your brother expects your wife to just do the teaching, and let's be honest, the parenting, for him? And for free, I bet!
    via canarylungs
  • OP OldTax7171 You would win that bet.
    via OldTax7171
  • CommProf127 I did not know that homeschooling means having someone else, outside of one's own home, home school a child.
    via CommProf127
  • OP OldTax7171 It can mean a lot of things. It's a very loose concept.
    via OldTax7171
  • SchoolBus Driver79 NTA. Thank goodness you didn't throw your own kids under the bus for your nephew. His parents created the problem, they can look into a charter school. The tax dollars paid to a public school are supposed to follow a student to a charter school, so right there is financial help. Tell him to actually go to the charter school and talk to someone instead of automatically saying they can't afford it.
    via SchoolBusDriver79
  • OP OldTax7171 I agree with you. He thinks any school they can afford will have the same problems with kids that antagonize his son. I think this is a bad outlook on his part.
    via OldTax7171

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family drama aita school kids mother siblings teacher parenting aunt homeschool family women parents children Father
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